There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
