Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
