i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
