So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
i need to put some appletini on your dick
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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