I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I will pee on everything he values.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
