this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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