I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
