drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
