he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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