i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
