i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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