I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
