If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize