i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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