I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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