what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
