so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize