the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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