i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
