and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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