also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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