I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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