A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
so much tequila, so little girl.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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