why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
