well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Randomize
