she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
