My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Randomize
