I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
