Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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