Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Randomize
