yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
