yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize