Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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