She announced her abortion via fbk
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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