Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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