oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Randomize
