How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
