Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
