she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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