I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
