i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
