So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
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