I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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