Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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