It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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