why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
