I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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