she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize