I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
