I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
