if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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