people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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