I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
