my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
