Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
