I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize
