on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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