i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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