Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
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