An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
