The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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