if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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