Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
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