He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Randomize
